You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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