You work out of a Hotel?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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