I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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