Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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