I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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