I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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