I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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