i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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