she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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