As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
