She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
