shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
