my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When are your genitals available?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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