i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
