id be glad to
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
only if we run a train.
done.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
