actually, I'm a sock model
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
