Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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