I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
