I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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