pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
