At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
