Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
