It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
