i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
