i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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