We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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