Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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