4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
