She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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