I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
