so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he just fucked me for my cheese..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
