My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
