Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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