He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize