I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
