I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize