i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
