i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
