when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
