you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
