She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
