dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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