That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
