Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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