Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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