Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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