So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
