Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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