I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize