that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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