"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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