? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
