no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
