I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
