We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize