wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
