You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
