420 ftw
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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