I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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