just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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