Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it's great music for shaving your balls
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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