yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
