Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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