how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
