I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
