im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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