my being single is dangerous.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
