God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
