You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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