Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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