We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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