She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
