The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize