Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
