we're blogging at a bar
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
